Downfall of humanity staved off temporarily
Posted by spacedcowgirl under
Fat,
Fatosphere,
Feminism,
Horrible Shit | Tags:
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[12] Comments
I was feeling pretty outraged, disgusted, and saddened already by this situation (click the links in the post for additional information).
And then I saw this (not related, just even way more mind-bogglingly disgusting and upsetting than the Rachel Moss fiasco). I had more or less given up on the world a long time ago, but this was the last straw. And this without actually viewing the video.
But this thread at Jezebel, related to the first item, restored my faith in humanity a teeny bit. 134 comments on a topic related to fatphobia and only TWO concern trolls (granted, along with a couple other weird fat haters, but even those seem generally of the live-and-let-live variety)? One of whom is not even “that bad”? And gems like the following quotations from the comments to boot? On a NON-FA blog? I swear, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a discussion about fat this respectful at a place that does not actively and constantly both enforce rules against fat hatred, and delete trollish comments.
Okay, I don’t care what else there is to know about this person. She is not cool. She is awful and mean.
She is a female misogynist who believes she is the exception to the rule that women are inferior to men.
The new one I hear is that I use too many resources…I guess fat is not green. Neither is douchebaggery, world.
What I don’t understand is why someone who hates fat people would attend so many fat-themed workshops?
I mean, if you’re grossed out by fat people, and you attend a workshop called “Fat sex,” then you pretty much got what you asked for, yes?
As a fat person, I would like everyone to know that being fat is not the worst thing a human being can be. I am trying to lose weight for the sake of my own health, and the way people congratulate me on this endeavour goes beyond just an appreciation for my efforts to be healthy – it’s like they’re so relieved that I am saving myself from FAT, that terrible place of social exclusion and invisibility, the most terrible thing a female can possibly be. My flatmate is trying to give up smoking, and no one is especially delighted by that. I honestly believe that people would rather be almost anything than fat – rather be a bitch, rather be mean, rather be a disgustingly cruel person, rather be unhealthy on the inside.
I hate this attitude that you can be any kind of dropkick, but as long as you’re skinny, that’s all that matters.
And the best of all (emphasis mine):
I admit that I am a recovering fat-phobe. I did think it just couldn’t be that hard for people to be healthy, and I thought they were being lazy. But I’ve learned a lot from feminist blogs, and I’ve realized that a) being overweight is not necessarily a choice and b) even if it is a choice, SO WHAT? I accept lots of people’s choices that I wouldn’t choose for myself, why not that one? Simply because I wanted to feel superior, and that is an awful reason to judge anybody. […] I do know people who are incredibly lazy who happen to also be fat. But I know not-lazy fat people, lazy skinny people, not-lazy skinny people, etc. What I don’t know is anyone who tears other people down and who is a happy, well-adjusted human being.
Maybe, just maybe, there is a little hope. Have a good weekend!
May 31, 2008 at 1:38 pm
That’s good to see, SCG. I usually avoid Jezebel because of the fatphobia, so if it’s diminishing that’s a very good sign indeed.
May 31, 2008 at 2:58 pm
I agree! I have spent very little time at Jezebel, but I certainly have never gotten the sense that people there are inclined to be all that charitable to fat people. Since there is so much “snark,” fat-bashing seems to come with the territory. Anyway, I found this refreshing.
June 1, 2008 at 8:01 am
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June 1, 2008 at 8:02 am
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June 29, 2008 at 7:15 pm
I honestly believe that people would rather be almost anything than fat – rather be a bitch, rather be mean, rather be a disgustingly cruel person, rather be unhealthy on the inside.
Hay, what’s wrong with being a mean bitch? I’m a mean bitch! (Think about it won’t you, men don’t get called “bitch” for being assertive, opinionated, or just abandoning their societal duty to kiss ass. Only women are expected to be nice 100% of the time to 100% of people, fuck dat noise.) I’m also fat. Neither one is the end of the world. I’m a both/and sort of person, I can be liberated from society’s expectation of acceptable feminine body and liberated from society’s expectation of acceptable feminine behavior.
Fuck ya if you don’t like bitches, we’re people too.
June 29, 2008 at 8:20 pm
I love your emphasis on that last quote. Maybe there is hope for the world yet!
June 29, 2008 at 10:25 pm
GH, I agree with you, but I guess in reading the comment I was drawing a distinction in my mind between the things women have traditionally been called “bitches” for (like not being perpetually “nice” or smiley… or for fighting back during an attack or refusing to back down in an argument… or for dispensing with niceties in professional relationships… or advocating for what is needed as to things like our bodies and our children… or for not responding to a shitty situation in the “ideal” conciliatory manner but instead sometimes fucking up and taking our own crap out on others just like men do) and just being a plain old jerk, male or female.
In my opinion the word “bitch” was a poor choice on the commenter’s part but if she meant it as “not a good person” or “not respectful of other human beings in general” or “not concerned about whether my actions hurt others and not inclined to make it right when they do”–regardless of gender–then I can get behind it because although I am in favor of being a bitch, if you see what I mean, I don’t see a lot of point in being an asshole just to be an asshole.
However, given the word’s history, you are almost certainly right that there was gendered baggage on the part of the commenter governing how women “should” act, so I’m not sure it’s reasonable for me to give her the benefit of the doubt that she “really meant” my second definition. And I can easily see why the quotation would raise some alarm bells, like “it’s OK to be fat as long as you’re a nice girl and don’t make anyone uncomfortable.” (It’s probably actually more important for us as fat women to be “bitches” because it’s not like anyone else is going to stand up for us.)
Anyway, I think I was just happy that the comments were so surprisingly compassionate and not fatphobic.
June 29, 2008 at 10:26 pm
April D, I know, it gave me the warm fuzzies. Rarely does a comment thread not actively make me want to move to a cave… much less give me any kind of hope.
June 30, 2008 at 8:03 pm
I, too, have noticed that the comments at Jezebel are often surprisingly fat-neutral or even fat-friendly. It can be refreshing, especially since that site is sort of love/hate for me. Heavier on the hate.
The other Gawker blogs, on the other hand…not so much with the fat-friendliness.
June 30, 2008 at 10:30 pm
Yeah… the point of commenting to the Gawker franchise (in my limited experience since I do try to save up Sanity Watchers points sometimes) seems to be outdoing the last poster in terms of how unpleasant and flippant you can be. The writing is good, but I can’t often handle the comments too well.
July 1, 2008 at 7:25 am
I quite enjoy lifehacker and kotaku, but I must admit if the post involved exercise or healthy eating I’ll avoid the comments as they’ll all be repetitions of people’s own success stories/mantras/fat people are lazy style things.
July 1, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Yes, exactly. P.S. I have always loved your screen name, and this seems like a good opportunity to say so. 🙂